Strange Times Are Here.

Don’t start shit with me. It go either one of two ways:

I ignore you and cut you out of my life.

OR

I become some psycho bitch that you wish was out of your life.

You sure as hell better hope that it’s the first one. It’s not pretty when I become a bitch. Fair warning: Don’t fuck with me.

Thanks :) Have a pleasant evening.

I’m probably going to suck it up and work at PacSun this winter break so I can buy a decent video camera so I can start making mini documentaries and possibly music videos. I feel like I have no direction in my life as of now and I think it’s because I don’t have something in my hands saying that I’m succeeding. I’m taking the incentive to do so and I’m sticking with it. I want to go to film school. I want to be successful. I need to get the ball rolling. 

A picture of me now:

A picture of me a year ago:

Physically: I have my nose and my tongue pierced now.

That’s about it.

Other stuff: Last year, I lived for others and to make them happy. I learned that isn’t the way to live. I can’t make everyone happy and the people that do matter will support me in whatever decisions I make. Regardless if they agree with it or not. Last year, I did a lot of soul searching and I was very unhappy and uncomfortable in my own skin. Within that year, I’ve learned that nothing that I have or am isn’t going to change. I have to work with what I have and be happy with it. I’m no longer afraid to admit that I’m afraid of getting close to people. I’m not as much as a skank as I used to be. Haha. Everything that has changed has been internal and I’m fine with it. I still have some ways to go though. It’s not an easy process.

I don’t have anything to bitch about today. That’s awesome, right?

Well, Fuck French. I hate it.

That’s about it…

Yup, sure is.

Goodnight.

Why did I do the Thirty Day Challenge:

I honestly did it out of boredom. I thought why not? I decided to proceed with it. In the process, I was able to self-reflect and take a step back. I enjoyed doing it and sharing it with everyone.

I’m drinking on a Sunday. By myself. Not giving a fuck. I lead a sad sad life. Woe is me. Woe is me. Goodnight.

I didn’t make this to make other people happy. I didn’t make this so it could over-analyzed by anyone. I made this for me. I made this because I never feel like I can express myself through my voice so words written down are the next best thing. If you don’t like what’s up here then don’t read it. If you think I’m talking about you in a post, more than likely I’m not. I tend to close myself off from people for a reason. I don’t like people knowing absolutely every aspect of my life. I made this as healthy release so I don’t go crazy from bottling shit up. I didn’t expect to get followers or even people to actually read my blog. It’s awesome they want to know what I think, but it’s not going to make us any closer. I believe a lot of people don’t deserve to get to know the real me. Sorry if that sounds bitchy, but it’s true. I have many layers and maybe a handful have gotten close enough to my core. I’m a complicated person, I’m not even going to lie. So if you can’t deal with that then you can move on. I’ll be just fine. Okay, I’m done.

What do I think of my friends:

There’s no way in hell that I’m going to write something about each and every individual friend that I have. It would take like all day and it would become less and less genuine by the end of the night. So in general, my friends, the real ones, I love them to death. They have my back and I have theirs. I pull them up and they do the same for me. My friends have been through so much with me it’s to the point where I consider most of them family. They have saved my life. They have helped me through some really tough times that I went through internally. I would often push them away, but they always extend that hand to let me know that they’re here. Regardless what I wanted to think. They were there for me. They are here for me. I’m happy that I surround myself with these type of people. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t be here. Thank you guys for being such awesome influences and inspirations in my life. I love you all.